Tim Yap and Javi Martinez are the perfect example of a young, forward-thinking couple in the twenty-first century.
Every one can love and be loved. Even though this is common knowledge, LGBT couples have been hidden away and stigmatised. If anything, you’d expect people to be more open about their sexual preferences in the twenty-first century, but that isn’t always the case. The act of coming out can still be veiled in fear, trepidation, and dread, despite the countless uplifting stories that have been recounted and replayed. But here’s a tale that shines a light of acceptance and love on people still on the fence.
They tied the knot in 2017, but Tim Yap and Javi Martinez have been married since then. Despite the support of their friends, they faced difficulties as a couple, some of which stemmed from their identities.
Being gay is still a crime in many nations in 2022. Thus while sexuality is a universal experience, it is still widely seen as taboo. Martinez is all too aware of this. In the late 1990s, Spain, where he grew up, was still highly conservative. The growing realisation of his sexuality came to him at a colourful point in his life. In Tatler’s magazine, Yap stated, “I was doing theatre and ended up meeting all these different kids from different cities. I started to understand that what I felt wasn’t different, that there were more people like me,” he says. He recounts the day he came out to his mother. He was 16 then. As they were strolling around the Plaza de Toros, his mother turned to him and asked him if he liked men. “I don’t know why she asked that, where it came from. I was so young. I was thinking: ‘Do I just tell her to avoid hiding things for longer?’ I mean she’s asking me, it’s a great opportunity. So I told her: ‘Yes.'”
Yap, on the other hand, has a unique narrative to tell. The multi-hyphenate from Manila acknowledges that he never gave much thought to his sexuality as a child. His sexual orientation was never a problem for him. He never sought love based on whether he was gay or straight. People admired him because he was productive and helpful to others. He didn’t think about it until he was 16 when exploring Manila nightlife. He recalls his undergraduate lover and admits that as lovely as she was, he had fallen in love with her for the wrong reasons.
Yap, who has been upfront about his mother’s concerns about his marriage to Martinez, says he didn’t have a hard time coming out—but his mother did. Martinez’s mother cried as well. However, Martinez’s father handled it better. “My mother was crying in her room, and I recall my father entering mine.” He simply said to me, ‘I knew it. I’m your father.'” Even though both families were not present for the couple’s Manhattan wedding, both grooms expressed gratitude to their families for their support.
Martinez’s grandmother, a 90-year-old Valencian woman, had immediately supported her grandson’s marriage. “I married and didn’t inform her,” Martinez explains. When Martinez’s grandmother found out, she responded warmly: “Javi,” she remarked, “I’m approaching 90 years old, and at this age, I think the most important thing is to be a good person: valuable to society and happy.” And it appears that you are all of that.”
Anton San Diego, the editor-in-chief of Tatler Philippines, introduced the couple. Martinez ultimately met Yap at the breast cancer awareness event where he had first seen him at his most charismatic—onstage.
That first meeting has now evolved into a steady and loving relationship that has led them to the altar—or, more specifically, the penthouse of The Peninsula New York, where they married almost three years ago. Despite their opposing characteristics, the couple now maintains a strong attraction to one other, which Yap describes as a yin and yang equilibrium. Yap, energetic and talkative, has a different viewpoint than Martinez, who is younger and quieter.
Despite the typical hardships of living together, having a household, and working as partners, their relationship has remained strong.
This is possibly one of the most fundamental reasons the pair decided to marry in late 2017. On Christmas Day, the two event planners, known for arranging opulent events in exotic locations, married quietly in New York. Six visitors were present, including theatre sensation Lea Salonga. Their small wedding ceremony allowed them to focus on what was most important in their relationship: each other and God.
