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//??????? ??????? - ????????? ??? ???????? ?????// Laying on my bed wide awake, Struggling to sleep through it again. Asking questions to myself, Where did it went all wrong? Why did it happen to me? Why does it have to happen to anybody? I was just a kid. What was my fault? All those unwanted and inappropriate touches still haunt me, All those words trying to manipulate me to get physically involved still haunts me. It tore me apart, My behavior got changed severely. I became quiet and even my family thought I have become an arrogant, obnoxious person. Little did they know, From an extroverted person, I became introverted. I hated speaking publicly or even speaking to a group of 3-4 people I started blaming myself. I know i should have been more aware of my surroundings, I should have dressed up more appropriately, I should have been tutored at home only. At least, if I hadn't gone out It wouldn't have happened to myself Maybe, it was my fault that I didn't take enough care of myself. I knew it was wrong, I knew I never wanted that to happen with me or to anyone. Even in my worst dreams, But, it did. It's still hard to believe but it did. I wanted to tell my close friends about it, But I couldn't. I couldn't. I was scared. I tried to stay alive. I tried to rip myself open. I harmed myself physically, As I didn't want to feel it mentally Something, inside me, kept telling that I should keep going. My mind said bottle-up everything sweetheart, no one actually cares. Even if they do They won't stop gossiping about it, They will spread it like a juicy rumor. Days and nights were havoc. As, I grew up, I kept on thinking about those little incidents, All those things became clear. All those gut feelings were real. I still get numb. I still get panic attacks. I still have trouble sleeping. I still suffer silently. I still am in pain. I still don't know how to remove those imprints from my body and my soul. I'm still struggling to fight with my demons, I know it may be just another story Or another incident for you. I hope one day, everything will be fine. I hope, no one has to go through this trauma and pain. I hope one night I will sleep just fine, When goodnight really means a goodnight. -Tanya Shrivastava IG- @tanyaashrivastavaa || @talesandunicorns . . . #Creatorshala #life #Blogger #Creatorshalablogger #Creator #follow #Influencer #writer #Love #Instagram #positive #healing #like @creatorshala

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I don’t want to be a part of your life. I don’t want to be a part of you. I don’t want to be your random texts or your last-minute plans. Please, don’t bother texting or calling me just because I crossed your mind all of a sudden. I am not your random Tuesday coffee plans or Saturday date nights. You said you want to see where things go first and that’s last when I heard from you until a few days back. So, where have you been? I hardly want to believe you. Did you mean the things which you said to me months ago or were you just bored? I am not even surprised. I know that’s how you are; telling the lies about how sweet you are and how you got stumbled on, we both do know the real you. We both know the two-sided face of yours. Stop making me guess about how you feel, stop with your games already. I don’t want a part of you if I can’t have all of you. I don’t want anything. I would rather keep my distance away from you than being even friends with you. I don’t want you to stick around me anymore. I do wish you happiness, I wish for your well-being and for a better future. But I am a little too high headed and full of self-respect for myself, I know when I am being treated as an option and when people actually care about me. But, sorry I don’t want to be on your” option list “ anymore, I am taking myself out of it. Please stop expecting me to give all of you if you can’t give the same to me. You never deserved a person like me, who is full of life and passion. You didn’t even deserve my friendship in the first place. Now, I don’t want to give even a part of me to you. I hope we never meet again. I hope our paths don’t cross again. Goodbye. #motivation #pinterest #2020 #creatorshala #blog #blogging #travel #books #music #song #photography #fashion #influencer #lifestyle

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TOO MUCH HELP IS TOO GOOD TO BE GOOD As far it’s concerned helping and giving is a pursuit of one’s character. But sometimes our helpful intentions give way to dysfunctional helping and giving and it brings us lots of dishearten situations. It’s not like I’m influencing here to stop helping altogether; but to set boundaries when telltale signs of unhealthy helping appear. It feels good to please others but you can’t please everyone. I accept that there is an overwhelming appreciative feeling when we help those who attract us with their needs for a helping hand. But trust me, from my experience I can say that this behavior of co-dependence is unhealthy, and often leads to compromise of our own happiness. There is a limit to goodness too. Just because you are guilty of leaving or thinking about others emotions above yours then you are going to suffocate yourself only in this process followed by bottled up feelings of resentment and suppressed emotions. It will eventually blow up your own peace of mind. It’s good to have a spirit of sportsmanship in a team. It gives us chance to socialize and how to work in teams but that doesn’t mean that you do everything and let others take the crown. It’s what we call an act of stupidity and king of being naïve. Its wisely said that “If you don’t take credit for what you do, it is likely that someone else will.” Be vocal about your role when you are in crowd. We all have worked with credit takers at some point in our life and got super frustrated by them. So it is better to be prepared for such situations in advance. Be on your guard and do not be a wall flower. It’s good to work in teams but don’t forget that there is a “ME”. #creatorshala #blogger #creatorshalablogger #influencer #instagrampoet #loveyourself #creator #contentwriter #writingcommunity #instawriters

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Riya Jain

4 years ago

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Down to earth, but still above you. ?❤️ Check out my Instagram - ritikaakohlii_ @creatorshala #sittingposes #selfpotraitsathome #fashionblogger #influencer #creatorshalainfluencer

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Team up & Collab with me? https://forms.gle/QcqXhYC7jQa54DNG8 #Creatorshala #creatorshalablogger #Influencer #Creator #Influencer #Instagram #Youtube #Youtuber # Vlogger

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